Charlie Brooker: [English prime minister, David Cameron] doesn’t have a “flat”. He has a lair, and he sits in it expelling eggs and breast-feeding a jackal, and reading the Book of Revelations, or as he calls it, his schedule. Jimmy Carr: Fatherhood’s really changed you, hasn’t it? You’ve really mellowed.
The Archbishop of Canterbury lives in a palace, has a chauffeur-driven car and employs 50 staff. You know, like Jesus.
- Jimmy Carr on 10 O’Clock Live on the retirement of the leader of the Anglican Church, the Archbishop of Canterbury. The irony of hundreds of years of institutional bullshit in the name of a man who spent his entire life fighting institutional bullshit bears constant repetition.
“The sister ship of the Costa Concordia, the Costa Allegra, has gone aground without power in the Indian Ocean. It seems Costa ships are like buses - not seaworthy.
“The Oscars took place on Sunday evening. Meryl Streep won her third. When it comes to the best actress Oscar, you’ve got to hand it to her - because she won. Many people have criticised Streep’s portrayal of Margaret Thatcher as only telling half the story, presumably because it only showed her in human form.
“This week, Pakistani security forces demolished Osama Bin Laden’s former compound. I’m not sure how; I imagine they flew a couple of planes into it. (crowd boos) It’s what he would have wanted!”