On Nicolas Cage
- isabel: you dont have any other material?
- solo1: I can't really do a George Clooney impression. I can try, but it will mainly involve shlooshing a glass of whiskey at a bar, half-smiling.
- isabel: how about nicholas cage?
- solo1: You mean barely-restrained menace eventually exploding into a serious of unintentionally hilarious outburts?
- isabel: yes
- solo1: Sure. I can do that. Also, if you call within the next 20 minutes, we'll send you twin-brother-Cage from Adaptation for no extra charge!
- isabel: three easy payments of 19.99?
- solo1: So easy. And Cage pays for himself after just a few short months.
- solo1: He comes action-ready out of the box, although batteries are not included. You don't want him going down on you at the wrong time!
- isabel: im taking him!
- isabel: barry, i think im a compulsive shopper
- isabel: i just bought a nicholas cage
- solo1: Good, good. Give it 28 days. And if at any time - any time at all - you're not satisfied with Nic Cage, you can return him for a full refund. Also, it's "Nic" without the H.
- isabel: ^o) whatever
- solo1: It's kind of a thing with him. If you use a H, he might go apeshit. Especially if he's been drinking.
- isabel: will he spank me if i do it?
- solo1: No. It's not a sexy rage. Also, he needs all his M & Ms to be at room temperature if that's at all possible. Chilled or overly-warm M & Ms set him off.
- isabel: but i only eat chilled m&m's and Texas isnt exactly "room temperature"
- solo1: I wouldn't mention that before you leave. Let him find out in his own time.
- solo1: Also he might wander off, or run away screaming sometimes. He'll come back when he's hungry.
- isabel: what if he gets lost?
- solo1: He has internal GPS.
