Showing posts tagged bullshit
Check me out! I’m on Quora!

"Oh, Barry, is there no social media platform you won’t fuck up with your snap judgements, trollish attempts at humour and patronising bullshit?"

No.

Check me out! I’m on Quora!

"Oh, Barry, is there no social media platform you won’t fuck up with your snap judgements, trollish attempts at humour and patronising bullshit?"

No.

No you can’t. 

Cynical solo1y - special Christmas edition

Around this time of the year, you will hear famous people asking you to give your money to sad people in Africa. One of the more organised efforts in this regard is the perennial ear-blight that is Feed the World by Band Aid. How appropriate that they should name their little band after the sticking plaster you give to small grazed children who are still entertaining the delusion that it does some good.

Americans may not be familiar with it, but it’s a stupid song written by Bob Geldof and one of his friends and they keep re-releasing it and it’s just awful. It does no good at all, and most of the money either rots in the bay or goes to fund violently destructive civil wars or some of the most corrupt governments in the world. 

Quick summary if you’re interested: 

  1. No famine in the history of the world has ever been caused by a lack of food.
  2. There has never been a famine in the history of the world in a country with a free press and a democracy. 
  3. Charity money flowing into stupid fucking countries allows them to obviate their responsibilities and concentrate on the more important business of war.
  4. What these countries need is not food, or the white man telling them how to live their lives. What they need is a full-scale invasion. The details will be tortuous, but it’s going to be a hell of a lot more helpful than sending them bags of rice.
  5. The only reason charity things like this kick off is because they make (relatively) rich white people feel better about themselves. Even when rich white people are presented with very real crises in far away lands, they’ve managed to make it all about them. Well done, people similar to me.
When I was done ridiculing the idea and the intent behind the idea, I got around to ridiculing the lyrics of the actual “song”. Here, by request, are the results of that ridicule. This used to be just a 30-minute rant on Skype, and now it’s a full-blown post. 
The next time you hear this stupid song on the radio, I want you to remember all of this. It’s for your own good.



It’s Christmas time,

Not if you’re Muslim, it’s not. And most of the areas targeted by this campaign would be populated by Muslims.

there’s no need to be afraid

There might be, if your country is in total, vicious, unrelenting civil war, as many of these countries are. To me, that’s a very good reason to be afraid.

At Christmas time, we let in light and we banish shade

Because if there’s one thing Africa is short of, it’s sunshine. Good thinking.

But in our world of plenty, we should spread a smile of joy!
Throw your arms around the world at Christmas time

Not possible. The largest recorded human arm span is 9 feet (belonging to Robert Wadlow), but the circumference of the planet is 25,000 miles. 

But say a prayer - pray for the other ones

Prayer has been repeatedly proved to have no effect whatsoever. 

At Christmas time, it’s hard but when you’re having fun

Again, Christmas is meaningless to Muslims. They have something else; I think it’s called Eid. Also, it’s always hard when I’m having fun, but that’s another kettle.

There’s a world outside your window

Well, where else would it be? 

And it’s a world of dread and fear

But you just said in line two, and I quote, that “there’s no need to be afraid”. Which is it, charity single? Which is it! 

Where the only water flowing is a bitter sting of tears

Except for the biggest river in the world, the Nile, which sends 4,000 miles of delicious crocodile-infested water through 11 African countries, and the Congo, which sends 3,000 miles of tigerfish-infested water through 9 African countries. 

And the Christmas bells that ring there are the clanging chimes of doom

They don’t ring Christmas bells; they’re Muslims.

Well tonight thank God it’s them instead of you

You have no idea who “them” is, do you? Anyway, as explained above, the only purpose of these charities is to make relatively rich white people feel better about themselves, so it’s still about you.

And there won’t be snow in Africa this Christmas time

Except for Mt. Kilimanjaro in Tanzania, whose peak is snow-covered all year round, and has been so since at least 2200 BC.

The greatest gift they’ll get this year is life

I don’t know. I’m sure there’s some kids in Uganda who will be delighted with their Lego. There are lots of rich, successful people in Africa, you know. It’s actually quite a nice place most of the time in most places.

Where nothing ever grows
No rain or rivers flow

Yeah, nothing grows except vast, lush, dense rainforests covering the entire mid-continent. These areas report heavy rainfall almost every day. Also, no rivers except some of the longest rivers in the world, as mentioned above.

Do they know it’s Christmas time at all?

Muslims.

Here’s to you raise a glass for everyone

Muslims aren’t allowed alcohol, but I’m sure they’ll be gratified that we’re making toasts to their well-being while they’re starving to death.

Here’s to them underneath the burning sun

I should hope they’re smart enough to stay under a tree or just inside their houses. Yes, people in Africa live in houses.

Do they know it’s Christmas time at all?

Muslims.

Feed the world
Feed the world

Oh, it was all about Africa a moment ago. Now you’re feeding the entire world? This whole song is patronizing bullshit.

Next time on Cynical Solo1y

I’ve been working on the railroad all the livelong day

Have you? You didn’t stop for food or bathroom breaks, you lying fuck?

I’ve been working on the railroad, just to pass the time away

Or because someone’s paying you? That’s your job. Fuck you.

NanoWriMo Motivational Post

I know. I’ve been there. Staring at the screen. Waiting for something to happen. Thinking, “Why did I start this fool errand?” LOL! I was once like you. And then I realised that I was spending far too much time looking for motivation, and not enough time writing. Seriously, this message is counter-productive. Why are you still reading it? Go type something.

Are you still here? You moron! Stop reading this! Go type some words! Proper words. Come on! Look, I know you’re still reading this and you should feel a deep sense of shame about that. I hate myself for writing it. I can only imagine the deep, gut-wrenching, wrist-cutting, fap-avoiding, nipple-clamping shame and guilt that you’re feeling right now. You’re still here? Why? WHY? Go type some of your famous “words”. You’re supposed to be a writer, aren’t you? What sort of fart badger are you? Right now there are illiterate twats having sex with beer bottles up a tree in Alabama who are writing as much as you are.

Still reading this, eh? Anything at all to get away from what you’re supposed to be doing, you useless pile of dead flies that collects under the window in a room no one uses anymore. That’s you. You’re that pile of dead flies. My God! Why are you still reading? Get back to whatever crappy “novel” you think you’re writing. Go on. Now! I scrape more interesting things off my shoe when I come back from walking my dog in the morning. Stop it. Stop reading this! Stop it! Go type something! STOP IT! GO ON! FUCK!

flippers:

I am sorry

You should be. Because you posted this two months ago and I posted this five months ago. I know I’m the source because I capped it personally from my local craigslist. And I know you stole it from me, because the markers on the cap are identical. Look at the “y” on “eyes” and “sorry”, or if you feel like it, open the images up in different windows and snap between them. 
Lucky for you, I don’t give a shit. I don’t even think this is your fault. But 9,500 notes? Really? Mine got 1 note. That’s a single note. Don’t take my word for it: check it out. 

flippers:

I am sorry

You should be. Because you posted this two months ago and I posted this five months ago. I know I’m the source because I capped it personally from my local craigslist. And I know you stole it from me, because the markers on the cap are identical. Look at the “y” on “eyes” and “sorry”, or if you feel like it, open the images up in different windows and snap between them. 

Lucky for you, I don’t give a shit. I don’t even think this is your fault. But 9,500 notes? Really? Mine got 1 note. That’s a single note. Don’t take my word for it: check it out

(Reblogged from ilovedogs2453)

Why Economics Is Fucking Pointless

"…a dreary, desolate and, indeed, quite abject and distressing one; what we might call, by way of eminence, the dismal science."   -Thomas Carlyle, 1849

The point of learning economics is to better understand the processes that underlie the distribution of goods and services - markets, interest rates, inflation, exchange rates, supply and demand - all that good stuff. Sadly, in my opinion, the entire discipline is flawed for a number of reasons. Like in mathematics, many of their theories are built on assumptions which may or may not be true.

For example, “consumers will act in a rational manner” is taken as axiomatic by every economic theory I’ve ever seen, but leads me to the belief that those economists haven’t hung around many of them for very long. People frequently act irrationally. For another example, there exists certain magical items the demand for which increases as the price goes up. They are called Giffen goods by economists. If you read the Wiki article, you will notice a distinct air of mystery around them, as they violate another axiom (the ostensibly unidirectional relationship between supply, demand and prices). You might also pick up a certain hint of condescension, for the same reason. Anything to avoid the horrible, ugly truth that they might have it all wrong.

Tangential to the point of learning economics is the being able to predict the future. Now, of course, no one can predict the future. All you can do is look at the past and try to explain what happened. But policy-makers frequently expect economists to be able to predict the future, and (presumably because they like their jobs) economists never seem too eager to disabuse the policy-makers of those notions. So we are regularly treated to humiliating failures when it comes to all sorts of economic predictions.

For example, when the banking and insurance industries crashed into the ground in the US, the king of free market ideology, Alan Greenspan, admitted he made a “mistake”. The mistake was obvious to those of us who had been paying attention. Greenspan is not alone however. The prevailing theories of economics were all on his side. For another example, read my post on Peak Oil. Actually, don’t bother. The Cliff’s Notes on it is that there is no Peak Oil problem. The whole thing is a house of cards put together on the basis of fundamentally flawed understanding of economics. If you want to know why, now you can read my post.

There follows some more evidence for the prosecution of the case that economics is not nearly as useful as it thinks it is:

Exhibit A: In 1970, Richard Titmuss conducted a famous study into why people donate blood. A group of previous donors were requested to donate blood, and offered a small financial reward for doing so. A control group of previous donors were merely asked to provide blood without any incentive. 63% of the first group ended up donating, where as 90% of the second group donated.

It has been suggested that the reason for this counter-intuitive conclusion is "pricing undermines people’s sense of community and cohesion because people are deprived of the opportunity to express altruism and no longer face the moral conflict and challenge to answer the question about their obligations to strangers”, but your guess is as good as mine. The point is that there is no theory of standard economics which could possibly explain this.

Exhibit B: In 2000, Uri Gneezy and Aldo Rustichini conducted a study made famous by Freakonomics in an Israeli kindergarten. Although it sounds like a set-up for a mildly amusing joke, the people running the kindergarten had a problem with parents arriving late to collect their children. They had to stay there until the parents came, obviously, which was a pain. So they introduced a disincentive, a small fee. Upon the introduction of the fee, the number of parents arriving late increased dramatically.

It has been suggested that the reason for this counter-intuitive conclusion is "that penalties are usually introduced into an incomplete contract, social or private", and "the deterrence hypothesis loses its predictive strength, since the clause “everything else is left unchanged” might be hard to satisfy." In other words, there is no system of economics which could possibly explain this.

Exhibit C: There is a wonderful piece of economic torture called the Ultimatum Game. What happens is that two people are put into a room. One of them is given ten dollars. He may choose to give any amount he chooses to the other person, and if the other person accepts the offer, both of them keep their money. If the second person does not accept the offer, for any reason, no one gets anything. Standard economic theory dictates that an offer of one dollar should be made and accepted. The reality is that offers of three dollars or less are overwhelmingly rejected.

It has been suggested- well, read the explanations that Wiki offers in your own time. It’s always entertaining to see well-qualified men in the field of economics scrabble around in the dirt, desperately searching for some sort of explanation for the madness that is the human brain, and trying to convince us all that the basic model of economic theory is still sound. Quod erat etc.

mindbabies:

offwithitshead:

stayingunderground:

Students stage walk-out on Harvard Prof.
When a science is dying, disciples begin to refuse initiation.
This is what happened last Wednesday in the class of Harvard economics professor Gregory Mankiw, with these simple opening words: “Today, we are walking out of your class.”
The rejection of Mankiw’s class is only a single event in the class of one professor, and yet this refusal may prove to be an event with a much wider significance. Mankiw’s econ 101 textbook, Principles of Economics, has made it into the minds of almost every economics student in the modern world and if the students of Mankiw can revolt, then it is possible that students everywhere can begin the task of rethinking the dysfunctional old neoclassical paradigm.
In response to the walk-out, Mankiw has only doubled down his orthodoxy, claiming that the 1% have suffered more than the 99% as a result of the recession.
Now is the time for a global walk-out. Download a poster of the True Cost Economics Manifesto at kickitover.org and pin it up in the corridor of your department.



claiming that the 1% have suffered more than the 99% as a result of the recession.
fuck this guy

 Indeed.

This is a major coincidence, because I was just reading this guy’s Macroeconomics (my female companion studied macroeconomics at UCR two years ago; she kept all her textbooks) with increasing disbelief and underlining all the passages that are complete bullshit. The one good thing about his book, I guess, is that he doesn’t try to hide it - he’s quite open about how right-wing his views are. In one passage, for instance, he says that the best way to increase national productivity is not job creation, but, and I am quoting this verbatim, “job destruction”. His book is full of this sort of gibberish and people are teaching it? As though it were real? What happens if someone takes it seriously? Oh, wait…
These students are incredibly brave and perspicacious and someone needs to give them a fucking medal.

mindbabies:

offwithitshead:

stayingunderground:

Students stage walk-out on Harvard Prof.

When a science is dying, disciples begin to refuse initiation.

This is what happened last Wednesday in the class of Harvard economics professor Gregory Mankiw, with these simple opening words: “Today, we are walking out of your class.”

The rejection of Mankiw’s class is only a single event in the class of one professor, and yet this refusal may prove to be an event with a much wider significance. Mankiw’s econ 101 textbook, Principles of Economics, has made it into the minds of almost every economics student in the modern world and if the students of Mankiw can revolt, then it is possible that students everywhere can begin the task of rethinking the dysfunctional old neoclassical paradigm.

In response to the walk-out, Mankiw has only doubled down his orthodoxy, claiming that the 1% have suffered more than the 99% as a result of the recession.

Now is the time for a global walk-out. Download a poster of the True Cost Economics Manifesto at kickitover.org and pin it up in the corridor of your department.

claiming that the 1% have suffered more than the 99% as a result of the recession.

fuck this guy

 Indeed.

This is a major coincidence, because I was just reading this guy’s Macroeconomics (my female companion studied macroeconomics at UCR two years ago; she kept all her textbooks) with increasing disbelief and underlining all the passages that are complete bullshit. The one good thing about his book, I guess, is that he doesn’t try to hide it - he’s quite open about how right-wing his views are. In one passage, for instance, he says that the best way to increase national productivity is not job creation, but, and I am quoting this verbatim, “job destruction”. His book is full of this sort of gibberish and people are teaching it? As though it were real? What happens if someone takes it seriously? Oh, wait…

These students are incredibly brave and perspicacious and someone needs to give them a fucking medal.

(Reblogged from randomactsofchaos)

This halloween I’m going to dress up as a Silent. That way when people ask me why I didn’t go to their party, I can say I did go and they just forgot.

This is the best idea. Ever.

(Reblogged from celestialcow)
This is somewhat flawed, at least from the perspective of quantum  physics. Things do not “travel” in time, but rather exist in concurrent  moments of time. Field Particle Probability Theory states that one particle  viewed at two different moments of time can be considered as different  as two particles viewed at the same moment in time. Thus, time travel in  and of itself is not an issue. Particle transmission is an issue, and that is  something we do not understand very well yet.
I just made up that last paragraph off the top of my head. It’s  total bullshit. Sorry.

This is somewhat flawed, at least from the perspective of quantum physics. Things do not “travel” in time, but rather exist in concurrent moments of time. Field Particle Probability Theory states that one particle viewed at two different moments of time can be considered as different as two particles viewed at the same moment in time. Thus, time travel in and of itself is not an issue. Particle transmission is an issue, and that is something we do not understand very well yet.

I just made up that last paragraph off the top of my head. It’s total bullshit. Sorry.

My friend Amber never had a brother, but that’s not the point.

My friend Amber never had a brother, but that’s not the point.