Showing posts tagged HT
This photo was taken in the Guppy House restaurant in 2011. I was not trying to look stupid. I’m just not very photogenic. And that’s OK. It’s not been Instagrammed or anything; it was taken with the last real Polaroid camera in the Western hemisphere and inexpertly scanned. 

This photo was taken in the Guppy House restaurant in 2011. I was not trying to look stupid. I’m just not very photogenic. And that’s OK.

It’s not been Instagrammed or anything; it was taken with the last real Polaroid camera in the Western hemisphere and inexpertly scanned. 

I get a lot of shit for how I look in photos; always a cynical frowning bastard.

“Smile, Barry! Fake some emotion like the rest of us do every second of our lives!”

Not me! If you want me to smile, then you better be doing something hilarious. Pointing a camera at me is not hilarious.

So lately, I’ve been doing an exercise in timing (because I got bored of trying to get the gas pump to stop exactly on the dollar). If I’m in a photo with a girl, I say something sexist/racist/whatever, along the lines of “you’re even more Chinesey-looking than your sister” just before the photo gets taken. Afterwards, I inquire as to the manner in which they are enjoying “them” pomaceous fruits of Malus domestica.

So far, I think I’m getting results.

Related: Barry Doesn’t Like Family Photographs

On Asperger's Syndrome III

  • solo1y: Because to be honest, I always feel like a visitor no matter where I am.
  • Huong: here in the states?
  • solo1y: Anywhere.
  • Huong: you belong everywhere you stay
  • solo1y: No I don't. I'm always on the outside. The only time I feel normal is when I'm on my own.
  • Huong: different from what? everyone is different
  • solo1y: It's difficult to explain. When you say "everyone is different" what you're actually saying is "everyone is the same". By definition.
  • solo1y: I'm not like that. Or if I am, I don't feel like that and I never have.
  • solo1y: Sometimes I think they're another species. All these HUMANS running around with their bullshit human stuff.
  • Huong: it's only life
  • solo1y: To you, yeah. To me it's an unending nightmare of social protocol.
  • solo1y: It's like being forced to play some game where no one will explain the rules.
  • solo1y: Sometimes it just annoys me and I want to kill everyone. Well, maybe just the children. Then I want to bake them into pies and feed them to their parents.
  • solo1y: I think that would make the world a better place.
  • Huong: haha
  • solo1y: I'm all about giving back to the community.

Huong registering her disapproval of my constant racist abuse. Looking on impassively is Michael Hernandez. I can’t think of a beaner/wetback joke for this. Give me a few hours.