Columbo Drinking Game
If you like police detective shows, and you’re in the mood for something a bit different, and your brain won’t explode when presented with a world without cell phones or internet, you could do much worse than watch an episode of Columbo. Maybe you will agree with Stephen Fry’s assessment of him as “TV’s greatest ever detective”.
We were watching an episode of Columbo, and Christina came up with the idea for this game and as she has refused to post the awesome, I’m doing it.
Columbo Drinking Game
Every time one of the following happens, yell the phrase and take a drink. If you don’t drink, just yell the word and punch someone, you funless fucker.
1. He takes his trench coat off for any reason: “TRENCH COAT!”
2. He turns around and says “Just one more thing” or its equivalent: “JUST ONE MORE THING!”
3. Someone else lights his cigar: “GOTTA MATCH!”
4. Someone doesn’t believe he’s a police officer: “HE’S A COP!”
5. A sentence starts with “My wife…”: “GOD HELP HER!”
6. He takes something from a crime scene that’s not evidence (food from the fridge, etc.): “THIEF!”
7. Someone mistakes him for a homeless person: “SPARE CHANGE!”
8. A sentence starts with “You know what bothers me?”: “WHAT BOTHERS YOU?”
9. The telephone rings at someone else’s house and it’s for him: “IT’S FOR YOU!”
10. The suspect goes somewhere and Columbo’s already there: “FANCY MEETING YOU HERE!”
11. The first appearance by Columbo (or his car): “COLUMBO!”
12. He clumsily evades a question about his Christian name: “RUMPELSTILTSKIN!”
13. Someone threatens to report him for harassment: “HARASS MY ASS!”
Christina and myself watch Columbo all the time. It’s a wonderful detective series that ran regularly from 1971 to 1978, and irregularly as a series of TV movies after that until 2003. I’ve never seen a police show like it - at the start of every episode, they show you the crime, and who the murderer is, and how he did it. So there’s no element of surprise or suspense or mystery at all.
If you think this would detract from the awesome of Columbo, you would be wrong. There is great viewing pleasure in seeing him tighten the screws on some poor bastard, and the lead character is expertly and subtly played by Peter Falk, who became so identified with the role that despite being twice nominated for Acadamy Awards for other things, he even played Columbo when he was playing himself in unrelated movies.